Merry Krissmas!!

 

 Since I have fully embraced my Atheism years ago, I always find that this time of the year is the most troubling. It's not because I have pangs of Christmas holidays of my youth or because deep down I actually feel the spirit of Yule time washing over me and I choose to stubbornly repress it. What it really comes down to is that all the people near and dear to me really enjoy this holiday and I really love it too. I love it when when everyone is coming together and laughing and drinking and enjoying themselves. We cook and eat and meet with old friends we haven't seen is a long time. It's a time when we seem to temporarily put away all the bullshit and at least tolerate each other for a short while. It's also a time that reminds me that we don't meed religion to do it. We also don't need to spend ourselves into a hole to tell the people in our lives that we love them. I say, let's take the Christ out of Chritmas! We'll call it.........Krissmas!!

  We wouldn't really have to change that much. Let's look at Krissmas carols that are fun. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snow Man, Holly Jolly Krissmas, White Krissmas and so many more that we wouldn't have to touch lyrically. There are tons of great classic Krissmas songs that don't mention bowing before an infant surrounded by barnyard animals. One song that would have to be stricken from the annals of human history would be The Christmas Shoes. This disgusting example of right wing Christian tripe is not only the worst Krissmas song ever, it may be the worst song ever written. I won't even begin to unleash my distaste for this piece of Elitist Christian black hearted blood vomit. Instead you can go to this link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq10bz3PxyY Patton Oswalt expresses it so much better than I ever could. It's not like the shops and malls have pictures or images of Jesus staring down and reminding us to be good little boys and girls instead we have Santa!! You better be good or old Kris Kringle is gonna take a dump in your stocking, Ho Ho Ho!! And people give me shit for not believing in an all knowing bearded man in the sky, yet they tell their children that there is an all knowing bearded guy who watches them all year and will judge them if they are good or bad. Wait a minute.........

  We could also try to keep the gift giving to a minimum. How about we try to be Humans and Citizens instead of Consumers. What is this holiday really about right? It's supposed to be about giving and kindness and appreciating what we have while trying to give something back to those less fortunate. This so called "Christmas Spirit" we hear about is just a brainwashing of commercialism that has become almost Pavlovian. The lights and music and endless T.V commercials must emit some magnetic pulse that seems to transform us into a mob of yule time zombies encircling the shopping malls like in a George Romero film. Here is the truth. I don't want anything from anybody!! If I want something, then I will buy it myself. Want to buy me something? Buy a bottle of 25 year old Chivas, come on over and we will drink and be merry. My daughter is coming home from college during the holidays. That is my present. My son is doing well in school. Another awesome gift. I am luckiest bastard in the whole world that I get to share my life with two of the most awesome women on the planet. Merry Fucking Christmas to me!!

  So instead of waking up Krissmas morning and running to a jam-packed church full of people who go once a year and don't really want to be there anyway, stay in your P.Js have a big breakfast, start drinking mimosas and tell the people that you care about that you love them. Oh and Happy New Year!!

I guess that I am Amoral?

Amoral: being outside or beyond the moral order or a particular code of morals <amoral customs>

  Many years ago before I had fully embraced my atheism, I was approached by someone who I did business with to join their church. Bill (not his real name) knew that I was a bass player and indicated that they had a real hip christian band that played at services on Sunday and it was a lot of fun and spiritually uplifting. I told him that I was a Catholic and that I wasn't into the whole "Church" thing but thanks for the invite. Sensing a challenge he began to extol the virtues of his little church and added that he too was a dissatisfied Roman Catholic who had recently become born again. He went on about how his life is so much more fulfilling now that he has accepted Jesus Christ into his heart. Again, I politely thanked him for the offer and began to change the subject.
  It was then that he dropped the bomb. He said, "You do realize that if you do not take Jesus Christ into your heart and become reborn, that you will burn in Hell forever." At first I thought he was kidding around, but after a few uncomfortable seconds I realized that he was as serious as a heart attack. To reaffirm my suspicion I asked, "You are Kidding right?" He confirmed that he was in fact serious.
  Now, I knew Bill for years. Although we never saw each other socially, he was a customer of ours and we had quite a few conversations about a myriad of subjects. He was a good contractor, had a good sense of humor and just seemed like a really sharp guy. I live in the south now, so I am used to hearing this blather, but this was in New York and about 20 years ago so I only heard statements like this from crazy preachers on the T.V at 3:00 in the morning. I was so intrigued by his comment that I felt the need to explore this statement with him further. He indicated to me that it matters not what good deeds that I do on this earth, if I don't re accept Christ into my heart I will burn in Hell for eternity. So "hypothetically", I ask, "I can be faithful to my wife, raise my kids with love and respect, volunteer to help the poor and lead a generally loving life and still burn in hell?"  "Yep", he says.  Now of course I have to ask the craziest fucking hypothetical shit I can come up with. The following are a few of the rules and standards by which people are allowed to enter Heaven according to a born again Christian.


3 billion Muslims?    Hell
7 billion Hindus?      Hell
13 million Jews?       Hell
What if John Gotti was saved right before he died?  Heaven
What if Hitler was saved right before he died?         Heaven

  Hitler? Really? Hitler? Bill explained that God is so kind that he would even take Hitler into Heaven if he accepted Jesus into his heart. So there you have it ladies and germs, God is willing to send a few billion non-believers to eternal damnation, but he would be willing to let Hitler in on a last minute death bed baptism.
  It was this conversation that started me thinking about morality. I keep being told that atheists/agnostics participate in morally questionable behaviors to a much greater degree than people of  a religious faith. Of course these are statistics supplied by people of religious faith and of course there is no possible way to measure morality in a person because people have different morals. What religious people are talking about of course is what they determine to be "immoral" behavior. Usually that revolves primarily around the following 5 criteria:

1. Fucking.
    Most people of faith don't approve of fucking. Unless of course it is to procreate. When my wife and I attended Pre Cana before we were married (For you non-catholic readers, Pre-Cana is a course  Catholic couples must undergo before they can be married in a Catholic church.) the priest asked me if there was any reason I couldn't perform "the marital act". I thought the marital act was the act of getting married. So I therefore quickly deduced that he was asking me if I was capable of walking down the aisle. I confirm this by saying, "Well Father, my legs haven't given out on me yet." My wife looked at me in shock and horror. The priest was trying to decide whether I was being a wise guy or if I was just mildly retarded. It suddenly dawned on me that the marital act is fucking!!! It was also at that point were my wife began to have second thoughts about me. But I digress........the point of the story is that the church believes the only reason that 2 people have to do the nasty is to make little Christians.
   Sex is all about fun, and freedom. You can do it with a woman or do it with two women or a man or with 3 woman two guys and a transvestite. You can do it in all different positions and places. You can be tied down on a bed by a 75 year old granny who shoves pickles in your ass while her husband teabags you in the mouth. If that's what floats your boat, got to town hoss.  It's awesome!  Unless that is, you have dickhead telling you that God will punish you for these acts. Then it's a bummer. 
Morality Lesson 1: Sex is wrong, unless it's between 2 people of the opposite sex in order to make babies of said religion.

2. Same Sex Marriage: (see Fucking)

3. Homosexuality: (see Fucking)

4. Violence:
  Religious people don't believe in violence.......just as long as the violence doesn't happen to people of their religion. Before everybody gets all crazy, lets be honest. The Christians hate the Muslims, the Muslims hate the Jews, the Jews hate the Muslims and the Muslims hate the Christians. Oh and the Christians hate the Jews and the Jews hate the Christians. Also the Hindus hate the Muslims and the Muslims hate the Hindus. I think that the Christians and the Jews are Okay with the Hindus. Within the Muslim religion the Shi'ite hate the Sunni and the Sunni hate the Shi'ite. Within Christianity the Catholics hate the Protestants. Lutherans hate the Presbyterian and the fucking Baptists hate everyone. We have the Crusades, The Inquisition, The holocaust, The current situation in Gaza, The violence in Zimbabwe, Serbia in the 90's, etc. etc etc. etc.
Morality Lesson 2: Never ever kill anyone of your own faith. Everyone else is fair game because they're going to hell anyway.

5. The Biggie!!! Abortion:
  Besides homosexuality, abortion is the big moral issue of our lifetime. Religious people believe that life begins at conception and that an abortion at anytime during a pregnancy is murder. Although I do not believe this to be true I feel that it is actually quite honorable to have this belief. It tells me that a person who believes this has a real love for humanity, a great respect for human life and a true commitment to the betterment of mankind. If only this were true. Ask yourself if you are pro-life or if not, ask someone you know who is if they believe in the death penalty. In my case most of them are against killing zygotes but are for the state sponsored murder of fully formed human beings. I don't want to get into the argument about what crime a person committed or what if that person killed your mom, because if you unconditionally believe in the sanctity of life and yet believe in state sponsored execution than you my friend, are a hypocrite. If you believe that throwing a pipe bomb into planned parenthood clinic is pro-life, you are a hypocrite. If you believe that shooting a doctor in front of his family is pro-life, you are a hypocrite. As a matter of fact it makes you a terrorist.
  Does Jesus really love all his zygote little children? Obviously he does because people of faith certainly spend alot of resources trying to make sure they develop into human beings. Of course once the baby is actually born, than you're on your own!! These pro-lifers are also the people who are anti-immigration, anti-welfare, conservative religious zealots who will denigrate a woman as a parasite on society after she has a baby she cannot afford to have or is ill-equipped to raise because abortion was unavailable to her.
Morality Lesson #3: Unborn babies are God's blessing and sacred, and we should as God's children fight for their protection as they cannot protect themselves. Once the baby has been born then we don't really give a shit what happens because the teenage mom is probably a dirty slut  for getting pregnant in the first place.
 
  So I guess that I am amoral because I don't follow the normal Judeo-Christian moral ethic. Most religious people attempt to do the right thing because it will get them into heaven. I attempt to do the right thing because I have to share this planet with other humans and I want them to in turn respect me as well. I attempt to be a tolerant, open minded compassionate person because I believe the world would be a better place if we all were. I live for this short time that I have on this planet, not for what awaits me after I take a dirt nap. I don't see the world in black and white. The world is grey. 100,000 shades of grey and each shade has a thousand different hues.
I am not immoral.
I am an atheist, and I bet that I am a better Christian than you.

A Moment of Thanks for Nick.

 My son-in law Nick, leaves September 3rd. to travel to the middle east for his second tour of duty with the Air Force. His first tour was in Iraq during combat operations. This one is in Saudi Arabia, so we are confident that there will not be any real danger or threat. He leaves my daughter, his wife to continue on with her education and the daily day to day grind while he serves his country. His level of commitment and passion for my daughter, his job and his family is far beyond any expectation that I could have possibly set.
  My daughter Samantha met Nick when they were both in High School. I knew Nick had to be special because my daughter didn't have the patience or the time to spend on dating because she doesn't do "drama" very well. She was generally pretty happy in doing her own thing without the high school boy flavored arm candy attachment. Nick turned out to be what we fathers call in the Biz as a "keeper". He was respectful of my daughter, sober, a non-smoker and a musician. I must admit that there was a time when I was expecting him to crash into my house 3 hours past my daughter's curfew with Sam passed out on the front seat while he vomited outside the driver's side window yelling "Ha Ha...Sucker!!" This of course did not happen. They married right out of high school. Nick went into the Air Force, Sam went to college, they got a really nice apartment, they met a great group of friends and have been happy and in love ever since.
  I must admit that I do carry some guilt, because they made the transition into adulthood so effortlessly that I forget that I have this fantastic young man in my family. I never worry about them or for them because I know that without Nick, Sam would be 2000 miles away from home. I never think of her being 2000 miles away from me, I think of her being with her husband and that she's safe. And for that I thank him. Thank you for loving my daughter. Thank you for your service to our country and most of all. Thank you for coming into our lives.
  I read in some books that women use their fathers as a measuring stick against the men that they date and eventually marry. If that is indeed true than I am the one who should be honored as Nick is twice the man that I think that I am. Maybe when I grow up someday, I will be just like him.

Forgive me Glenn Beck for I have sinned......

Bless me Reverend Glenn Beck for I have sinned against you….


  After Mr. Beck’s grandiose made for T.V evangelical tent revival on Saturday, he was back on "Fox News Sunday" the very next morning basking in the glow of his own self righteousness. Like most religious poseurs who manipulate the true meaning of a religion to support their own twisted world view, Beck puked up a particularly extra putrid puddle of cancerous phlegm.

  Like most neo-con troglodytes who have finally understood that they have absolutely zero facts to support the fact that President Obama is a Muslim, they know must now define the “type” of Christian he is. Beck claimed that Obama "is a guy who understands the world through liberation theology, which is oppressor-and-victim." He also added "People aren't recognizing his version of Christianity." And of course la pièce de résistance is when he said "You see, it's all about victims and victimhood; oppressors and the oppressed; reparations, not repentance; collectivism, not individual salvation. I don't know what that is, other than its not Muslim, it's not Christian. It's a perversion of the gospel of Jesus Christ as most Christians know it."

  Holy Shit! I haven’t stepped foot in a church for a number of years, but I did spend a majority of my life as a Roman Catholic. I had 12 years of Catholic school education and theology courses. I have 5 of the 7 sacraments under my belt and can recite the required 10 “personal crazy penguin stories” that all Catholic school kids born before 1970 are obliged to tell when we are drunk and amongst ourselves. Now it is my recollection that Jesus Christ traveled and preached to the poor, right? I remember his Gospels saying things like:


“Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:39


“If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” Matthew 19:21


“But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” Luke 14:13 &14


  I happen to believe that Jesus was a Liberal. I know Holy Shit right?!! I believe he taught his followers that they did not need to follow in the strict, orthodox views of God, religion, and life. I believe that he rejected greed, violence, the glorification of power, the amassing of wealth without social balance, and the personal judging of others, their lifestyles and beliefs. I know, I know, it’s tough for you Bible thumping, conservative bigots to comprehend but it’s true. Jesus Christ was a filthy, tree hugging, hippie, socialist.

  Forbes magazine calculated Glenn Beck's earnings for the previous year (March 2009 - March 2010) to be approximately 32 million dollars. This is the guy who is preaching against social justice for the poor? Let’s all be honest about what this is. This is the new Christian ethic. It is that the poor are lazy and undeserving of God’s love. Those of us who are lucky enough to be born into privilege or have not to have had any tragedy in our lives that have cost us our livelihoods are blessed by God. So why would people who are blessed help people who are not? And it only makes sense that if the government helps the poor and the needy then they are taxing and taking money from the blessed to do it. Thus the Government is socialist and anti-God and the righteous must take it back from the evil Black man disguising himself as a Christian.

  Is anyone shocked that Beck has become a preacher now? What separates people more than anything? Religion. Glenn Beck and the rest of their ilk understand this more than anyone, and will now exploit it to its fullest extent. Everything now will become the “us” and the “them”. The “We the people” and the “Others”. With people like Beck and Palin and Hannity on the television it will not be very long before the righteous will lock and load and start doling out some old fashion biblical justice.

Something Wicked This Way Comes......

  I love Ray Bradbury. Fahrenheit 451 was the first novel that I ever read and loved. He is the reason why I became an avid reader, an author who gave purpose to my burying my face into novel after novel. He wrote a book in 1962 titled "Something Wicked This Way Comes". If you've never read the novel, it is a story about two young boys who have a dark encounter with an evil traveling carnival that comes to their little Midwestern town. I remember how terrified I was reading that book as a young 13 year old, and how I never got the image out of my head of that strange lightening rod salesman foreshadowing the storm that was soon to ravage their small community. Foreboding. Prognostication as the traveling salesman in The Wizard of Oz would say. That is what I have been experiencing for the past few years, but now the feeling comes at an accelerated pace.
  When Georgie W. was elected back in 2000, I remember turning to my wife that agonizing November morning and telling her that when this man leaves office the world would be a different place. Now, Nostradamus I ain't, and I don't think that you have to be a seer to have made that prediction, but I think everyone can agree that the world is a very different place. It was then when I first thought about that mysterious lightening rod salesman warning of the impending storm. Now I feel as  though the carnival has arrived and G.M Dark is here.

  I didn't think that it could possibly be worse after Bush left office, but as I look around and see what is going on in this country I realize that it has. We have a president who is is a graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, where he was the president of the Harvard Law Review. A man who is the American dream. A working class kid who worked his way to be President of the United States of America, right? Wrong. There is a large portion of the population who believe that he is a Muslim terrorist who is bent on destroying the country. They believe that health care for all Americans is Marxism. They believe we should abolish the 14th amendment to the constitution. They believe that the Bush tax cuts stimulate the economy when every economist in the world tells them that they do not. They believe that all Muslims are terrorists. They believe that Liberals are the enemy and should be destroyed. They Believe that Ronald Reagan was the greatest President this country ever had. But what they actually believe is whatever Sean Hannity or Glenn Beck tells them to believe. The evil carnival that rolled into town is Fox News and they ain't goin' nowhere.
  Now, I am not the smartest guy in the room by a long shot but I sure feel like I am when I watch Glenn Beck. As I suffer through his inane diatribes, I find my head slowly cocking to the right, like my dog does when he's watching a bug on the wall. While my dog Louie tries to wrap his mind around how that bug crawls up that wall and how it might taste, I wonder how how anyone with an I.Q over 11 can possibly listen to this drivel let alone actually take it seriously. He is a wild eyed carnival barker compelling his dullard audience to enter the tent to view the freak show that he has gathered. The rabid illegal immigrant out to rob and kill you then steal your job. The Despicable Muslim who will force your wife to wear a burka while he pisses on the American flag. The filthy African president who wants to turn our wonderful country into a Stalinist state.
  I'd like to think that it is just a vocal minority who Fox panders to, but alas it is not. I have friends and family who share some of these insane views. These are sane, educated people.  And yet these kind gentle-hearted people  suddenly change when the name Barrack Hussein Obama is muttered. It's like I have suddenly slipped a hot steamy turd under their nose as they wince at the name. I feel as though they have become entranced by the carnival barker and nothing that I say can break the spell. I explain how they are being duped and present them with facts and evidence that shows how the Blowhards from Fox are manipulating them, but nothing seems to matter. I tell them to read Paul Krugman, and Jonathan Alter. To watch the BBC and God forbid perhaps listen to Rachael Maddow!!! I am told that they are all liberals and that I am biased. I hang my head in sadness and frustration.
  The storm has passed. The carnival has pitched its tents and lit its midway. The madness though, is just beginning.